1/7/2018 (Post 9/16/2017)

Who's fault is it? Its mine, I have to take the blame considering out of 4 people i am the only one that continues to have trouble with what has been started. I did not choose for this to happen, causing so much disruption in my life. Let alone to make me question the most important person in my life, who at this point i can not give my undivided attention. One night changed me, I am not sure if the other 2 felt what i did but at this point it doesn't matter . The damage has been done, that moment has driven all of the uncomfortable interactions since that night. We all continue to want to be friends but
i am not sure how realistic that is with the challenges i face just to deal with it,Two faces just consume me at this point. In the 38+ years i have had to deal with the emotional side of myself  and there have been few things i have not been able to see coming. This is something i saw from the first night and instead of running to protect myself I just gave in and let it happen. Its to late to run and hide, It to late to change a thing, I just have to take the pain that comes with this entire situation.