2/6/2018 (Post 9/16/2017)

Another day goes by and i still cannot shake you, There is gonna be a time where you both will need to get involved because i am not sure if i can balance myself without opening up and explaining these feelings that continue to tear me apart. I will always try to hide my feelings and sometimes i am not sure that helps or hurts. I ball my feelings up until they explode and cause a big scene, I want to open up, Sometimes i need it! Its just hard to talk about my feelings even though i need to. I know the conversation is hard however it is needed because i am not in control. I am being controlled by feelings i have no idea how to deal with. I see your faces and it triggers emotions, Sometimes happiness, Sometimes hurt and anger, If i cant open up to how i am feeling to someone especially the two that started this. I am not sure how i can move myself to a more stable place.